Family picture taken 1 week after diagnoses
Monday, May 11, 2015
Bedtime prayers
Post chemo I'm always a bit teary. Today I was "touched" quite a bit. This morning I introduced my kids to the hymn, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus", We weren't even
through the first verse and Alton had his head down in tears. "Alton, what's wrong?" I asked. "This song reminds me of your cancer" he wailed. We plodded through the song but I almost joined Alton when we hit the last line of the last verse, "...And I know that Thou art with me, wilt be with me to the end." I confessed to Alton that the song reminds me of my cancer too, and especiallly that I can trust Jesus through it. I hope they learn the sweetness of trusting Jesus through suffering. I think they are. I think we are learning it together.
Carter then asked me if I ever cry about having cancer. He was surprised when I told him I do quite a bit. I was surprised he didn't know that. Alton and I have had several cry fests together. Those sweet little loves completely undo me.
Tonight was the first night in awhile that I felt well enough, and not to tired, to tuck them in and say prayers with them. Alton, sweet little love, "I love you, mommy. I wish you didn't have cancer. We are praying a lot." I don't deserve these little loves, but I'm so blessed they call ME mommy. His prayer was precious. Of course he prayed for my cancer to go away "and never come back, so that mommy can be on this earth with us for a very long time." He included his two other "regulars" and lovingly prayed that they wouldn't have pain, and for comfort.
Carter was next. I was a puddle by the end of his prayer. He prayers every angle, for the cancer to go away, never come back, but if it does come back, not for a long time, and if you don't take the cancer away, help Mama to live for a long long time, so she can be with us. He prayed for others he knew were struggling with pain or suffering and then for anyone suffering that he's not aware of to pray for, he then prays. Then he moves on to the kids who don't have a mom or dad, or home, or food, or toys, that God would take care of them.
This completely touched my heart. The prayer of this little boy for others, hurting others, hurting others that he knew and didn't know. I love his heart. I wonder how God is going to use him. How
will he mold that love for the hurting. Ah, bedtime prayers.... I love them! So yes, it's a predictable
teary time, but today was a doozy. I blame those little loves that call me Mom.
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Love this post! I am a puddle of tears with you! How I love the hearts of your children! God is doing great things in them and WILL do great things in the future! Love you so very much!
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ReplyDeleteOh my how my heart broke for you and your children. I am praying for your family. I too have cancer and have been told it is advanced. My Pastor suggested a booklet that has given me a lot of help. I purchased it on Kindle for .99 cents. I read it in less than an hour. Pastor John Piper wrote it on the eve of surgery for his cancer. It is written with Pastoral sensitivity, compassion and strength. The name of the booklet is: Don't Waste Your Cancer. He writes about cancer as an opportunity to glorify God. He is gentle yet firm that we can indeed waste our cancer when we don't see how it is God's good plan for us and a path filled with hope for making more of Jesus. He gives a clear Biblical perspective on what God is doing thru serious illness. It brought me clarity and great comfort from the Bible. I graciously suggest it to you. God be with your precious family. Karl Noll
ReplyDeleteYour children are so blessed to call you mother. Your courage and strength in Jesus' name is shaping their hearts to trust in Him completely. Bless you, Kerri.
ReplyDeleteI am not on Facebook to see updates, but I just wanted you to know that I was praying for you and your family this afternoon!
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